Wednesday, 21 February 2018


by Josephine-Anne Griffiths

As moments turn into days, days to weeks, and weeks to months, I ask myself the same questions, 'Who am I really? Am I just a fraud? Do I truly have a talent for writing, or should I just return to reading the wonderful writings of others?'. And then there are those critical questions I constantly ask myself 'Why do you keep doing this? Why are you forever taking on so much "stuff"? Why are there always so many pots on the stove, about to bubble over?'.

'O Lord , I have come to you for protection; don’t let me be disgraced. Save me, for you do what is right. Turn your ear to listen to me; rescue me quickly. Be my rock of protection, a fortress where I will be safe. I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me, Lord , for you are a faithful God.'
~  Psalms 31:1‭-‬2‭, ‬5 NLT

Issues with mental health tend to run in my family. I don't know why. However, this does not define who I am ... I am one of God's precious children, as we all are.
There are many troubled people in this world with various problems, but when I remember ... 'although many things are impossible for man, they are never impossible for Our Lord Jesus Christ' ... I feel so much better.

I love to become involved with lots of people, activities, and things, but at the end of the day, week, or month I seem to have accomplished nothing. God has given us all gifts, and besides loving to read and write, I know He's given me capacity to create something beautiful, to share with others, and to love others the same way I want to be loved and treated.

I tend to be rather hard on myself, as I am sure we all do at some stage or another, but it's true, nothing will get done if I don't clear my bipolar head of all these silly notions and snippets of folly. I had planned to write this post in January on my own site, but things kept standing in my way ... my health, HoneyBun's health, critical illness within the family, funerals to attend, and a plethora of other things. One of my worst habits is failing to say 'no' when I should, and another is being overtaken by compulsiveness and impulsivity. Everything has to be done perfectly or not at all. Lots of things are appealing to me, and I find it almost impossible to resist. I have wasted money on silly things in the past, now I can't afford to be so irresponsible ... but I still waste precious time on "stuff". I'm certain many would know exactly what I mean. What about you? Do you waste time?

So, what is the solution?
I apologise for the bunch of capital letters, but I've just had an epiphany 😃
I have been threatening to empty out my email inbox for ages. Well, that is just about to happen. I have so many unnecessary emails coming in that I'm missing the important ones. I spend way too much time on Facebook  ... hmm, I'll work on that soon 😉  My calendar is full with medical appointments, funerals (I have two to attend this week), oh and I mustn't forget my elderly parents  ... they need care, love, and kindness as well. And regarding my beautiful parents, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Then there is the challenge of trying to think and write with chronic pain. My osteo and rheumatoid has flared up badly, making concentrating on anything tiresome ... but I am certain many of you can relate to this. My wonderful husband has offered to purchase the latest version of Dragon software for me. He's such a sweetie (most of the time), but then I suppose I'll have yet another thing to learn (laughing to myself).

Yes, one at a time, that's definitely the way. I won't be able to cast aside all my bad habits in the flap of a bird's wing, but with God's help I shall gradually eliminate most dreaded distractions. I will get a handle on this.

And, I will continue to write and read (just try stopping me), but perhaps I'll practice a wee bit more mindfulness while doing so. When I begin my day (around 6.00am) with Jesus, I find my day pans out far better than when I just kind of fit Him in somewhere later in the day. I need to remember that He has my back no matter what.

'Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things. Plant your seed in the morning and keep busy all afternoon, for you don’t know if profit will come from one activity or another—or maybe both.'
~  Ecclesiastes 11:5‭-‬6 NLT

So, with patience and mindfulness I shall take one day at a time, and one moment at a time. How about you? Do you get distracted? Do you put your fingers in too many pies (just like me)?

I'd love to hear what you think. Please leave a comment  ... it'll make me feel better if I believe I'm not on this uncertain, and sometimes terrifying journey alone.  God bless 💞


  1. Hi Jo, thanks for sharing. Wow, you have a lot on your plate - two funerals in one week!

    I can certainly relate to having lots of things on the boil. I constantly have mutiple writing and musical projects demanding my attention, and one of the hardest things to do is "just pick one". It's like picking a favourite flower out of the whole world.

    I can also relate to having chronic illness which sometimes God uses to force me to stop. So I suppose I should be grateful for that one! At such times, the ability to write and work on creative projects can be like letting fresh air into the house. Writing is God's kindness in my life when life becomes insane. I hope it is that way for you too!


  2. Hi Steph, thanks for replying, and thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I have been refusing to stop for a long time now; unfortunately my bipolar demands that I keep going and stick my nose into many projects ... and I haven't yet mastered the art of saying 'no'. But my auto-immune disorders have caught up badly, and now, once again I have no other option than to withdraw from several things. First on my list for tomorrow is ruthlessly cleaning out my email inbox.

    I am my own worst enemy. I am enrolled in Cecily Paterson's Memoir course, which I still need to start. Then I saw Iola's Platform Building course ... ahem, no I cannot do it at this time, so I hope it will be available again further down the track.

    I'm looking forward to getting some voice recognition software, as writing or typing have become extremely painful. Hubby is taking me away for a break down the South Coast of NSW for five nights from March 4-9, and he's forbidding me to take my laptop (he didn't mention anything about my tablet through ...*wink*). Like yourself I am grateful for the gift of writing. It's so refreshing. When I'm either too tired or in too much pain, I make a nice pot of tea, and crawl into my comfy armchair with my reader (sometimes books are way too heavy to hold :-D

    Best wishes with your next creative project, whatever that may be.



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