Recently one of my dear friends and a colleague in
counselling passed away. I was asked to lead the service for his funeral, which
was very challenging but also a great privilege. To say good bye to a loved one
is very sad, and yet in this case my friend was spared much future suffering,
which was something to be grateful for. Best of all was the sense that he was
safe in the arms of God, with whom he had walked faithfully through all of the
journey of his life. We reflected on his life story, which was truly an
uplifting testimony, and we acknowledged the ending of this part of his life,
with total assurance of a blessed eternal life ahead.
This experience caused me to reflect, yet again, about
beginnings and endings; how central they are to our lives, how formative and
transformative. How we manage endings is so crucial, whether that be the end of
a project, a job, relationship, a life, or even a book. If we have celebrated
the good and grieved the loss, learned the lessons, and prepared for the
future, we can make a healthy and often exciting new beginning. There is much
to be taken away with us if we are clear about what we are leaving behind,
what’s been accomplished, healed, gained. If we’ve been transformed in some way
by our past experience, be it a good experience or a painful one, then we are
better prepared for the future. Someone has said ‘there are no failures, just
learning experiences.’ But that may be too simplistic a view and may allow us
to avoid necessary repentance and grief.
I prefer the ideas of one of my favourite writers/speakers,
Richard Rohr, who writes much about transformative suffering, about dying to
self and resurrection to new life. “The
genius of Jesus’ ministry is that He reveals that God uses tragedy, suffering,
pain, betrayal and death itself, not to wound you, but in fact to bring you to
God. So there are no dead ends. Everything can be transformative. The cross is
always unto resurrection. Transformed people transform people.” Scripture refers often to these ideas, such as
in Matthew 16: ‘Anyone who wants to save
life, must lose it. Anyone who loses his life for Me will find it.’ And John
12. ‘Unless a kernel of wheat falls to
the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces
many seeds.’
This idea is also expressed in these lines from R.T
Brissenden’s poem describing the propagation of some Australian native
plants: 
'The seedcase must be scorched before it
cracks;
More than the rain it needs the bushfire’s heat.
But
with the spring the flowers burst
honeysweet.
And
once the taproot stirs it can split rocks.’
These are not easy concepts to welcome into our lives. Most
of us probably hold on to good things beyond what is healthy and find it hard
to let go when it is necessary, even if we know something good or even better
is beyond the ending. What we know is easier to control, more comforting, less
challenging or frightening that the unknown, the new. Surrendering to endings,
cherishing new life, embracing transformation, is a challenge for us all, but
surely our Christian calling, and what will lead us to our most precious and
glorious destinations.
On a lighter note, I can’t finish without reflecting on what
all this means as a writer. Do my stories leave people with something new to
take away; a challenge, an inspiration, something that might transform their
lives in some way? When readers come to the end of my books, are they sad to
say goodbye to my characters, but going away with seeds of new life? If so,
I’ll feel like I’ve made a worthwhile contribution.
Richard Rohr is generous enough to allow pieces from his
writings to be emailed out as daily meditations free of charge for anyone interested, from the Centre for Action and Contemplation. https://cac.org/
Carol writes historical novels based on her family ancestry
in Australia and include the Turning the Tide series; Mary’s Guardian,
Charlotte’s Angel, Tangled Secrets and Truly Free. Her earlier novels
Suzannah’s Gold and Rebecca’s Dream have been re-released by EBP. You can see
more about Carol and her novels on her website or her FB author page.
www.amazon.com/author/carolpreston
Another great post, Carol, and thank you so much. One of the wonders of getting older is being able to look back at times of pain and troubles and get a glimpse of the wonders God has been doing in our lives and those we love. He is the God of love and wonders through all our years of letting HIM be in control.
ReplyDeleteSo true Mary. It makes getting older a blessing when we realise more and more of God's love and provision.
DeleteThanks for these deep, reflective insights, Carol. All so true and worth pondering on. Richard Rohr is one of my favourites too. I particularly love his assertion that 'transformed people transform people', so true, in my experience, as well as being a challenge for us to stay in that place of allowing God to continue to transform us.
ReplyDeleteYes, Richard Rohr has some wonderful insights. I'm really blessed by his writings.
DeleteA beautiful, thought-provoking piece about an issue that is very close to 'home' at the moment. Thanks for introducing me to Richard Rohr, too.
ReplyDeleteI do hope you can enjoy some of Richard Rohr's writing, Rhonda. Sometimes I can ponder all day on his insights.
DeleteCarol, thanks for your beautiful and challenging post.
ReplyDelete"Most of us probably hold on to good things beyond what is healthy and find it hard to let go when it is necessary, even if we know something good or even better is beyond the ending. What we know is easier to control, more comforting, less challenging or frightening that the unknown, the new."
This is very true, and we often don't want to disappoint people by letting go or leaving good things, even if it's the emotionally healthy choice for us. We can't support everyone and everything. Thanks for sharing your insights with us.