If you have been around church for a while, you likely would
have heard someone say something along the lines of, ‘I need Jesus every day to
get through.’ When I first started going to church 10 years ago, I used to find
that statement a little odd however as the years went on, it started to make
sense and I started to understand it. Until a couple of years ago, when I found
myself completely disagreeing with it. I had reached a point where I didn’t feel
that I needed Jesus every day but every hour. Fast forward a few more years and
I am finding that I need Him every minute. Day to day, I find myself leaning on Jesus a lot more to
get through what the day is throwing at me, whether it is good or bad.
I am also finding that I am learning to lean into His grace.
More recently, I found myself having to relearn what grace looked like as I had
not only forgotten how to accept it but also how to extend it. And the person
that I forgot how to extend it to was myself.
If you are anything like me, it is easier to be kinder to others
than myself. I find it a whole lot easier to be gracious and forgiving to others
than I do to myself and as such I am my biggest critic. But God in His mercy
and grace has been helping me shift that a little. And by a little, I mean He
has smacked me across the head with it. Over
the last few months, I have found myself lacking the grace for myself that I
easily extended to others and I have had to relearn it; I have had to step back
and allow myself to get up. To sit at His feet and just be, me. To stop striving
to be strong or perfect or needed or anything other than what I truly am, a
flawed girl loved by a perfect Heavenly Father.
We can so easily find ourselves striving to be better, to do
more, be more to more people, but more than anything, Jesus wants us to just
be. I found myself taking the posture of Martha and running around trying to be
all things to all people when what I really needed was to be like Mary and sit
at the feet of Jesus. To be present and listen to His sweet whisper. To rest in
His grace that is freely given. Instead, I found myself struggling with
emotions and slips ups and stumbles and all that lead to a feeling of defeat.
Sound familiar? Yeah, I hear you.
But God. No matter what season we are in, God always shows up.
In His infinite mercy and love, God met me where I was and
covered me with His grace. He poured His love out and reminded me that I am an
imperfect child that is perfectly loved by a perfect Father. And that was all I
needed, then, now and in the days to come. His grace is freely given to us, we
are to just accept it and it is more than enough. In our weakness, His grace is
sufficient. In our joy, His grace is sufficient. In all things and all seasons,
His grace is sufficient for us and is all we need to get through. May His grace
permeate your heart and soul today and bring you the peace and joy that only
comes from knowing Jesus.
Leila (Lays) Halawe is a Sydney based coffee loving nonfiction writer and blogger. She has published a short devotional, Love By Devotion (https://www.amazon.com.au/Lov
and via Twitter at Leila Halawe (@LHalawe).
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