Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...

I recently caught up with a friend for Bible study. We were reading through 1 John 4, and I was struck afresh by the verse 18 which reads: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (TNIV)
Isn't that powerful?

It resonated with me because I realised how often my actions are motivated by fear, not love. I don't talk to that person because I think they won't like me. I won't encourage that person because they're doing better than me and obviously don't need it as much as I do. These actions come from living in fear, not love.

I've been a Christian a long time, but in talking with my friend I really felt challenged about this passage. If God is love, and we are to live in God and in His love, then I really need to SEE myself as loved. As a Christian, someone who understands Jesus Christ's death has paid the penalty for my sins, then instead of looking at my sin, my failures, my not-good-enoughs, I need to see God's love. It's like looking in a mirror, what do I see: my hopelessness, or Jesus smiling back at me, the ultimate demonstration of God's love?

The more I focus on God's love - seeing it, recognising it each day, owning it - then the more I can live in His love, and not my fears. The more I focus on God's love then the more encouraging, generous, confident I can be.  The more I focus on God's love then the more like Jesus I will be.
It's such a good reminder, isn't it?

If I don't want to live motivated by fear then all the more do I need to KNOW God's love for me.
If I'm to love in God's love and share that love with others, I need to KNOW His love that nothing can alter.
If I'm a Christian author trying to share God's love with the world, I need to KNOW God's love for it to be authentic in my writing.

This proved especially relevant the next morning, when I received a review for my new novel that was a little less than what I'd hoped for. Now I know reviews are subjective, and wiser heads than mine have said 'don't read reviews'. But the truth is, I thought I had some level of relationship with this person that might warrant warmer praise; their words were nice, but not quite what I'd hoped for. (Come on, haven't we all felt a little disappointed or underwhelmed by faint praise at times?)

Through my shifting emotions I realised (again!) how often I can place my value in other people's opinions. As a natural introvert, and someone who values words as part of their love language, I really have struggled with not letting people's words affect me too deeply, which can thus affect my future dealings with them. The Bible verses I'd read the day before challenge me to not live this way, but to instead filter my emotions and thoughts and to view myself through God's word, where countless times we are reminded of God's love for His people.

God loves me. ("I have loved you with an everlasting love..." Jeremiah 31.3)
God loves me.  ("For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son..." John 3.16)
God loves me. ("Nothing can separate us from the love of God..." Romans 8.38-39)

Looking in the mirror of God's word, I need to recognise God's truth as truth and own that, and not own the negatives. Through Bible reading, meditation, just mulling over His words, I start to see things differently. Instead of my guilt, I see God's love. Instead of my sin, I see God's love.
Instead of feeling 'less-than' I feel "more than a conqueror." Why? Because of God's enabling love.

This applies to my writing as well. Sure, there are things I can improve on (I get that my work isn't exactly Shakespeare!), but setting my self worth according to other's opinions - good or bad - is a fool's game, and is guaranteed to leave me feeling tortured, and with a giant ulcer or three. Like my husband says: it isn't really real.

What is real is this: I am loved by God.
I am called according to His purposes. (Romans 8.28)
I am more than a conqueror (Romans 8.37)

And so are you!

Over to you: how have you encouraged yourself after a less-than-stellar review of your work? What are your thoughts on reading - or not reading - reviews?

Carolyn Miller lives in the beautiful Southern Highlands of New South Wales, Australia, with her husband and four children. A longtime lover of romance, especially that of Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer’s Regency era, Carolyn holds a BA in English Literature, and loves drawing readers into fictional worlds that show the truth of God’s grace in our lives.

Her Regency novel ‘The Elusive Miss Ellison’ released in February 2017 from Kregel Publications, and is available from Amazon.com.au, Koorong and Book Depository. Her second Regency 'The Captivating Lady Charlotte' releases June 27, and her third, 'The Dishonorable Miss DeLancey releases October 24, both are available for preorder.

                Connect with her:    website    pinterest      facebook      twitter

Get Your Armadillo On!

by Andrea Grigg

Photo credit: Jim Mullhaupt via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

One thing I know for sure: being a writer is not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned. We’re faced with so many challenges, not the least of which is, ‘What if someone doesn’t like my book and gives it a negative review?’

I mean, I pour my heart and soul into my books, right? How could someone reject my baby?!?

In answer to that, here’s a quote from Joanna Penn, whose workshop I attended last month: “Your book isn’t your baby, it’s your employee. Make it work for you!”

Isn’t that a refreshing way to look at it? (Check out Joanna's website The Creative Penn - it's fabulous!)

But how do we prepare ourselves for negative reviews? And how can we deal with them when they happen?

Some writers never read reviews of their books, but I do. I’m way too curious. According to The Five Love Languages, I’m also a ‘words of affirmation’ girl, so it can be tricky for me. But I’ve learned a couple of things along the way which I’d like to share with you in the hope it will be of help to some.

I’ve had two negative reviews quite recently. One of them was for my novella, ‘All is Bright’, which I indie published last year in a box set called ‘An Aussie Summer Christmas’ along with five other authors, including our own Narelle Atkins and Rose Dee. Unfortunately, I can’t directly quote the review for you, as the boxset no longer exists on Amazon, but I can certainly remember the gist of it!

In ‘All is Bright’, my heroine, Amy, has been secretly in love with her brother-in-law for years, and continues to feel horribly guilty, even though her sister passed away five years ago. The reviewer hated the premise, citing it as being disgusting and immoral, along with a few other choice adjectives. ‘All is Bright’ was responsible the boxset receiving three stars, not four.

The second negative review was given to ‘Too Pretty’ only last week. I was at the Hillsong Colour Conference, where I’d been mightily inspired and encouraged. Just as well! A review for ‘Too Pretty’ came up in my Twitter feed one night, so I checked it out. It was really well done, with all these funny gifs which really made me chuckle. Until I came to the words: “What did I think of the book? I didn’t like it.”

Believe me, she didn’t. For two reasons, neither of which I agree with, funnily enough J You can read the review here if you like. Seriously, the gifs are awesome!

For an affirmation chick like me, by rights these two reviews should’ve flattened me. My roomie at the conference, who also happens to be my bestie, said, “How do you cope with something like that? I’d be devastated if that was said about something I’d created.”

But I’m not devastated. Here are some reasons why:  

1.    As mentioned before, not everyone will like my stories, or ‘get’ my work. After all, each of the seven billion personalities on the planet are unique and will never totally agree on anything, especially when it comes to taste in music, art or books. It’s just the way it is, so I choose not to stress over it. There’s no point.

2.    Having a negative review makes the rest of them genuine. Clearly, I haven’t bribed my friends and rellies to write lovely things about my books.

3.    There can be elements of truth in negative reviews. If you end up with a number of them all saying the same thing, then perhaps it’s a good idea to take notice!

4.    Negative reviews of my books DO NOT define who I am, because my identity is not defined by my writing. It’s defined by who I am in God.

To my mind, that last one is the most important. Last year I went through a bit of an identity crisis. You can read about that here.

In a nutshell, if you know who you are, or more importantly, whose you are, then negative reviews are a thousand times easier to handle. God loves me. He adores me. And while that may sound incredibly simplistic, at the end of the day, to me, that’s what matters the most.

Andrea Grigg lives on the Gold Coast, Queensland, and is the author of two contemporary Christian romance novels, and a novella. She would love to connect with you via: 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/author.andreagrigg?ref=hl

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/andreagrigg

Email:    andreagrigg@live.com