Monday 26 November 2018

A Response to my Spam Comments

By Iola Goulton @iolagoulton

Over the last few weeks, my reviewing website ( has been getting a lot of spam comments. They don't show up on the site—I have my site set up so I have to manually approve comments from first-time commenters. And I think most of these comments are from Russian bots.

I have no intention of approving any of the comments, because that will allow the commenters (or Russian bots) to continue to spam me. But some of the comments are (unintentionally) funny enough that they deserve a response. Here are my favourites.

All spelling and grammar is as submitted by the commenters.

I can help you write your collage essay.

Great, but I'm not in collage. Or college. And if I was ethically challenged enough that I'd pay someone to do my homework for me, I'd want someone who knows the difference between collage and college.

I dⲟ believe your site could be having internet browser compatibility issues. Whenever І take a look at your sitе in Safarі, іt looks fine however, іf opening in Internet Eⲭploreг, it’s got some overlapрing issues.

I suspect that's one of the many faults with Internet Explorer. Do people still use Internet Explorer? Anyway, I recommend you update to a more modern web browser. You know—one that's been updated this century.

I am glad I noticed this website on Yahoo.

Yahoo still exists? Who knew. I hope you're not using that with Internet Explorer.

I see that you don't update your blog too often.

I think four or five times a week is plenty often.

Good blog! Do you have any tips or hints for aspiring writers?

As a matter of fact, I do. You can find them at my other website, Or at one of the websites I contribute to on a regular basis:

Incidentally, you might want to change your user name. A name like pay someone to do my assignment might give people the impression you're looking to pay someone to write your collage essays rather than looking for actual writing advice.

What are your contact details?

You can contact me through my Contact page (who knew, right?). Oddly enough, I don't want to publicize my email address. I'm worried I might get even more spam.

Incredible blog layout! The overall look of your website is great, let alone the content.

Thank you. I use the free version of the Make theme, and created both my sites using the free 5-Day Website Challenge from You're welcome.

How lengthy have you been running a blog for?

According to my copyright statement, I've been running this blog since 2016. By the way, that should be "how long".

What i do not underѕtood is in faϲt how you are no longer really much more smaгtly-preferred than you might be now.

I don't understand that either. But thanks for saying so.

Do you have a spam issue on this website.

Only from comments like yours.

Now I am going to do my breakfast.

I think you're in the wrong place. Breakfast conversations and photos belong on Instagram.

Just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s truly informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels.

Thank you?

WOW just what I was searching for. Came here by searching for amateur porn videos online.

(on a post on major Christian fiction literary awards)

Really? Well, I guess that confirms that the good news of Jesus Christ is for everyone, and Jesus will meet you where you are.

I can not to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink oor e-newsletter service.

It's that big blue box immediately to the right of the blog title.

Heү there! Do you know if they make any pⅼugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization?

I use Yoast SEO. I'm sure there are others.

I’m ϲurious to find out what blog system you’re using?

WordPress. Like 27% of the internet.

I’m getting sick and tired of Wordpress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform.

Yes, WordPress can have problems with hackers if you haven't set your site up properly, and don't use a service like WordFence or Sucuri. WordPress also appears to have a problem with comment spam. Just like pretty much every other site that allows comments. Such is life.

the Gilmore Girls are really gorgeous, and that is the main reason why i watch that tv show,

A lot of people enjoy that show. But this is a book review blog.

Although they did not begin in this way, modern CPUs are microprocessors. If there is a young girl, she will love developing a feminine white desk in their room to complete homework on.

Awesome. I needed to know that.

І have bеen browsing on-line greateг than 3 hoսrs nowadays, but I never discovered any fascinating articⅼe ⅼike yours.

I mean this in the nicest possible way, but you need to get off your computer and get a life. Or read a book. You know, like one of the hundreds I've reviewed on this site.

I remember as I spent my childhood years, I was flanked by new technology including Atari or even the Color Computer.

You're showing your age.

Ԝhat’s uⲣ, its good piece of writing concerning mediɑ print

(on a post about ANZAC Day).

Yeah, right.

Ꮤhen someone writes an paragraph he/shе keeps thе tһought of a user in hiѕ/һer brain that how a սѕer can know it. So that’s whʏ this article is outstdanding.

Humanity has reached a new low if the ability to use paragraphs correctly is now considered outstanding. But wait ...

Paragraρh writing іs also a excitement, if you be acquainted with then you can writе otherwise it іs difficult to writе.

I'm lost for words. Or perhaps lost for paragraphs.

Terrific post but Ӏ was wondeгing if you could wrіte a litte more on this topіc?

Actually, this was me asking my readers a question.

So yes, the comments are spam. But many are unintentionally funny, and deserved a response.

What about you? Do you get spam comments? What's your response?

About Iola Goulton

Iola Goulton is a New Zealand book reviewer, freelance editor, and author, writing contemporary Christian romance with a Kiwi twist. She is a member of the Sisterhood of Unpronounceable Names (Iola is pronounced yo-la, not eye-ola and definitely not Lola).

Iola holds a degree in marketing, has a background in human resource consulting, works as a freelance editor, and has developed the Kick-Start Your Author Platform Marketing Challenge, an email course for authors wanting to establish their online platform.

When she’s not working, Iola is usually reading or writing her next book review. Iola lives in the beautiful Bay of Plenty in New Zealand (not far from Hobbiton) with her husband, two teenagers and one cat. She is currently working on her first novel.


  1. Yes, I get a few. Mine are often laced with flattery such as 'I've read your poem and it was really touching,' or 'Congratulations on your new book.' But they're never very specific (which makes me doubt they have read said book) and always from someone with an email address such as 'essayhelp' or 'writing great content'. One was an touching plea for help with a uni assignment. I'm guessing they're hoping search engines will pick up their comments and direct people back to their sites?

    1. Yes, they're looking for the backlinks - both on the off chance that someone will visit your website then click back to their website, but also if their site is mentioned on a lot of other sites, then Google thinks their site is useful and it will show up in searches.

  2. Yes I get a quite a few, they seem to come in waves. They aren't as amusing as yours though. Many are medical and offer me Viagra!

    1. I used to get the medical emails, but I've never had those on my blog (perhaps my spam filter deletes them before I see them)!

  3. Lol! Too funny. Glad you can laugh about it 😂

  4. Hilarious! Love the sarcasm in your responses. Thanks for the chuckles.


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